You must be prepared to get lost in the wilderness. You must be prepared to survive a grocery shopping trip with my mum (I suggest you prepare yourself by bringing a guitar on that trip). You must prepare yourself for any inconvenient situation you may find yourself in.
Today, though, I am going to tell you about how to be prepared for an invasion. An invasion of any sort would be unfortunate, I assume, from kidnappers to aliens. Luckily, my room is already prepared for such an event.
I keep throwing knives on my bed frame thing. That way, if I heard a creepy noise at night, I don't even have to move very much to arm myself. Then when the invader crashes into my room, unaware of my ninja heritage..... WHOOSH! He (or she) is down, and I am victorious.
I wouldn't say that my bow is the most convenient of weapons, because I have to string it every time I need it, but it is the weapon that I am most skilled at. If I hear someone screaming, "OH NO THERE IS AN EVIL DUDE JUST STANDING THERE, KILLING EVERYONE WHO COMES CLOSE TO HIM!" I could grab my bow, throw on my quiver (I love that quiver more than I love oxygen), and the evil man would soon be defeated.
MADI! What if you run out of arrows?!
Glad you asked. That would not be a problem, I've got extras hanging inconspicuously behind my door.
I spend a lot of time at my desk. A lot. So if I am just sitting here, and I am like, "Oh crap, there is an invader.", I would just have to reach up and grab one of these lovely shurikens (conveniently spray painted white for easy location). Next to it is my x-acto blade that I would use for... I don't think I will tell you what I would use it for, you would probably send me to a mental hospital.
This clear packaging tape is on the other side of my bed frame. You see, I do not intend on killing invaders, I only wish to injure them enough that I can just securely tape them to a chair while I wait for the police to show up.
After reading this, you probably think that I am a psycho with a case of paranoia. But someday my paranoia just might save your life.