Wednesday, August 5, 2015

The Cow

I am here to tell you the thrilling story of "The Cow".

Tonight I was just hanging out with Bailey at his house, but he soon had to go meet with his bishop.  We decided that I might as well just hang out at his house because he wouldn't be long.  So I was just sitting there, minding my own business, when some guy started knocking on the door.  Obviously I wasn't going to answer because who even answers other people's doors?  But the dude was pretty persistent.  I thought Wacey was in the family room so I figured he'd get it, but it turns out I was actually the only one at that particular residence.

So I decided that I shouldn't wait any longer, and thought I might as well just take a look at who it could be.  Unfortunately the guy saw me, so my plans of taking a look and escaping completely failed.  I answered the door and he told me, "hey, there's a cow on your front lawn" and it indeed appeared as if he was right.  I told him thanks and texted Bailey's mom, not really knowing what to do.

Because I didn't know what to do, I decided that my best option was to sit on the sidewalk and watch the cow to make sure it didn't run away completely (that would be tragic!)  The lady who lived next door loaded her kids up in her van and drove over to where I was to inform me that there was a cow on my front lawn, you know, in case I missed it while sitting on the sidewalk right by it.  The lady was very nice, and very convinced that cows are dangerous animals.  She said that the cow grazing on the front lawn seemed safe, but if the male cow escaped then I should probably go inside because it would charge me (later I was informed that all of the cows were male).  One of her kids started getting out of the van and she freaked out, telling her kid to get back in so that she wouldn't be charged.  She hurried back and drove off, wishing me luck.

Since that lady didn't seem to know much about cows, I thought I would ask the only expert I know, my dad.  I texted him and he told me that I was safe as long as I flapped my arms when they charge at me.  He also told me not to worry because all cows do is poop on each other.

I went inside to look for Bailey's dad's number, and while doing so some guy knocked on the door with some very interesting news.  There was a cow on my front lawn!  I told him thanks for the info, and he walked off.  I went back outside to sit on the grass when the cow that the lady told me I should be concerned about also escaped.  Luckily at that very moment, Kim pulled in and I was saved!  She waved her arms and herded them back into the gate.

The end.

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